Posts Tagged ‘Spousal rape’

Marriage Counseling When It Is Most Needed

Carmel and her abusive husband, Matthew (1989).
Image via Wikipedia
Many women go through a rough time in their own homes courtesy of their abusive husbands. They suffer silently since they do not have the courage to come out and air their anguish as they are always threatened. These women take to defending their husbands and even justifying why they treat them so. The first thing that an abusive husband does is to intimidate his wife and make her feel inferior and worthless. These women end up thinking that they are not good enough for anyone. Seeking  help from qualified marital counselor is often best in such in such situations.
After some time, these women accept this abuse as normal and that is why there are very few reported cases touching on abusive husbands. It is immoral for any man to hurt his wife mentally, verbally, emotionally or physically and this form of abuse must always be treated as a punishable crime. Most men end up abusing their wives out of anger and that is why it is important for men to be slow to anger. Many men have killed their wives in the heat of the moment and they only end up regretting later when the damage is already done.
Other factors that contribute to abusive husbands hurting their wives are the use of alcohol and drugs. Many men in this stupor end up beating up their wives and neglecting their emotional, physical, and spiritual needs. They turn into beasts when they are drunk and they always get away with it as they are rarely reported to the authorities. Other men may be having affairs out there and this makes them look down on their wives. They result into abusing them to cover up their sins and make them feel guilty.
Many women are assaulted by their abusive husbands who demand to have them even when it is not appropriate. Sex is supposed to be based on mutual feelings and forcing a woman to submit against her wishes is abuse and equivalent to marital rape. Most men who abuse their wives are antisocial, selfish and many of the time those that are involved in criminal activities. Others are very needy men who fear being abandoned. This makes them seek to control their wives through abuse to ensure that they fear them and thus submit to them unconditionally.
Verbal abuse is another device of the abusive husband who can pass as a very charming person in public but cold and cruel when alone with his wife. He may use nasty jokes on his wife that are meant to shrink her and wash off all her pride. These men also ridicule their wives abilities, their families, jobs, personalities, and even education. When confronted, these men always tell their wives that they are too sensitive. Abusive husbands are also unpredictable and it is hard to tell what pleases them or what does not. Their moods, behavior change from time to time, and this makes it hard to know what kind of people they are. Women who are with abusive husbands ought to accept the fact that they are in the wrong relationship and take a step towards redeeming themselves from this web.
The least they should do is to visit marital counselor or seek advice of online marriage counseling.