Sad statistics indicate that one out of every two marriages will end in divorce in the United States. However, marriage counseling can help couples who are having difficulties to fix some of the problems. Whether they are arguing over child rearing issues, financial problems, or infidelity, a marriage counselor may be just the answer the two of you need.
Keep an Open Mind
It is important, though, not to look at counseling as an all-encompassing solution to your problems. You have to go into it with an open mind and a desire to really improve the quality of your relationship. Many times, couples go through the motions of counseling without truly giving it their all. This is not the way to make marriage counseling work for you. Still, it does not mean, that you cannot improve your marriage just because you alone feel an urgent need to do something about it, while your partner just “lets the life happen” and does not want to be actively involved. An experiences marriage counselor may teach you ways how to improve your relationship even if you alone are ready to work at it.
Try and be Honest
Your counselor will likely ask you a series of questions in order to gauge what issues are at the root of your problems. Your honesty is probably the most important thing to give, but it is also one of the most difficult. Sometimes, honesty can be brutally painful, but if your spouse doesn’t know how you really feel about an issue in your lives, there’s nothing he or she can do about it!
The stresses of everyday life can sometimes be more than many couples can handle. Long work hours, difficulties with children and teens, as well as financial problems can all begin to take the toll. Though the marriage counselor cannot raise your wages or shorten your working hours, the right marriage counselor should be able to give you and your spouse the tools to cope with these difficulties a little better. Most of these tools will begin with better communication skills and a little more understanding of what the other person is going through.
You’ll be surprised at how effective communication can be at solving problems. Many people will hold their feelings and thoughts inside because they don’t want to “rock the boat.” However, after a while, all that frustration will come out, and may become destructive.
It may take a couple of days or a few years. When it does, though, you can say a lot of things you will want to take back. Unfortunately, once harsh words are spoken, it’s really difficult to make amends. Depending on what has been said, those words may never be forgotten. Marriage counseling can help you communicate better and may help avoid a lot of hurt feelings.
If you are ready to try marriage counseling, try to find one that both you and your spouse like. It’s really hard to open up to someone you feel is too critical or whom you can’t trust. You may need to visit a couple of different counselors before you find one that is right for both of you. But with a little work, it’s likely that you will find someone you both can trust.